BAD GRANDMA

So, to start off with, I had an amazing grandmother, otherwise known as Granny. Her whole life revolved around her grandkids. She lived across the street from us. She took care of me, my brother and sister while my Mother and Father worked. She bathed us, fed us, made sure we napped. But most of all, she loved us. I can't remember a day in her life that she didn't have a smile on her face. She was surrounded by kids and she loved it. And when she was suffering from the final stages of Alzheimer's, it was her grandchildren that were there for her. We loved her dearly and mourn the loss of her daily.

Fast forward a few decades. Granny passed away just shortly after her first great-grandchild was born, my son Braden. Braden is now 10 years old. My other son Brycen is 8. My brother and his wife have also had two children since Granny's passing who are 2 and 9 months. Granny's daughter, our Mother, is nothing like Granny. She is so selfish. She doesn't want to spend any time with her grandchildren, unless other people are around to see it and "marvel" at her grandparenting skills. Good grief. Does anyone have one of these in your lives? And I have read so many blogs or responses to blogs that say it's ok for grandparents to act in such a way because "you've raised your kids. Let your children raise theirs. You aren't a baby-sitter." Really? Then what was my Granny? My Mother depended on her to take care of us. There was no way my Mother could have afforded daycare. My Granny was the only reason my Mother was able to work. So, is it that my Mother is selfish or that my Granny cared for us so much that my Mother was spoiled and didn't have to care for us the way a full-time Mom would have. So now she has no idea how to be a full-time Grandma. I don't know what it is. What I do know is that my children and my niece and nephew deserve to have a Granny in their lives. And sadly enough, they will never know what it's like to be loved by a grandparent who loves them unconditionally, expects nothing in return and will always be there for them. Sad!!!! Sad!!!!

The EX!!

So I would never have thought that my ex-husband and I would be at this point. I never thought I wouldn't care one bit about him or the miserable situation he has gotten himself into. The "amicable" divorce we began in January of 2006 and finalized not so amicably in April of 2007 should've been the writing on the wall for me, shouldn't it have? Even after all of his infedilities, you would think I would have hated him! But I didn't. I just wanted out of a miserable relationship. And I still cared about him!! I wanted us to remain friends - good friends even - for the sake of the children. And the naive side of me that believes there is good in everyone and that everyone wants what is best for their children convinced me that post-divorce would be smooth sailing! As if!!

Now, our communications are limited to short e-mails and correspondence between our attorneys. How sad the world is when, as an adult, some parents cannot put their own feelings aside to do what is best for our children? Sometimes, I almost feel that parents like this are worse than dead-beat ones. Why? Because the stress of dealing with them I think is far more trying! But I've never been without my child support, so I can't say that is true for sure!! As it stands right now, I not only have to deal with him, but his new wife. Yes, he married wife #4 two months after our divorce was final. So much for "spending some quality time alone." And believe me when I say, kudos to her for diving into a marriage with a man who has had three failed marriages and children from each of them. And yes, his child support payments are astounding!! The only thing I ask from her is to be treated with decency and respect. Especially by a woman that I have never, ever wronged!!! But I guess that is too much to ask! So, I have to suffice with pretending the woman is not standing 10 feet from me when I drop my children off at her house. I ignore her in order to keep from cutting through her with my laser eyes. LOL

With that being said, you would think that when I heard that he e-mailed a friend and told her that his new wife was obsessively controlling and overly jealous of any female in his life (explains why she hates me), that I would feel a since of sadness for him. Nope, not so much!! This man has allowed the new wife to control his life so much that his 16 year-old son doesn't even speak to him. And his 20 year-old son moved out of his house because of the situation. Hello!! Wake up before you lose your other two children. He's just lucky that they are too young to understand why Daddy doesn't spend as much time with them as he used to.

And don't get me started on my boyfriend's ex-wife. He is in the middle of a grueling legal battle just to gain standard visitation rights of his 3 year-old daughter. So I will keep mum about that until after the trial. But watch out, because when that's over, I have a few words to say!! That woman is certifiable!!